Chapter 22

hapter 22
EPOV
We were riding in the car to celebrate Bella's 18th birthday. We were riding in Emmett's jeep. Emmett driving, Rose in front with Jasper, and Alice sitting on his lap, Bella in the middle, and myself on the side of her. We were going to this over 21 club, using our fake id's. I could tell Bella was nervous, because she kept squirming in her seat. We passed two squad cars, close to the club. We were almost there when I heard her grumble.
"Great just great." she moaned.
"What's wrong Bells?" I asked. I really wanted to know why she was so nervous.
"We are so going to get arrested." she grumbled, fingering the charm bracelet I had given her earlier. I was so glad she liked it. I wanted to give her a ring, specifically the one my biological grandmother had saved for me, but I thought it was too much. So I settled on a nice charm bracelet, with a charm representing each of us. She didn't like presents, so lets just say she doesn't really know how much it cost me.
"Were not going to get arrested Bella?" I laughed. She was worried we were going to get caught.
"How can you be so sure?" She said. We all looked at her curiously. We weren't sure, we just never got caught. I was about to come up when Jasper spoke up.
"You're 18 now Bells. It's time to live a little." he grinned.
"I am living." Bella moaned.
"Yeah living like a prude." Rose grinned.
"Hey!" Bella screeched.
"Chill. Just kidding. Look were here, just relax okay?" Rose smiled, as Emmett pulled into the parking lot."Fine. But like I told Alice I'm not being you bitch when we go to jail." Bella huffed, and we all broke out in fits of laughter.
We all hoped out the car, I couldn't help but stare at Bella's creamy legs, when she went to flatten out her denim skirt. Her legs looked like they went on for miles. Even surpassing Rosalie's 5 foot 9 stature. She did a quick fluff of her hair, and I swear her scent immersed through the air, and hit me like a ton of bricks. I took a deep breath and we showed the bouncer our id's. I was glad the guy was kind of old, he really didn't seem to notice how different we looked from our id's. He gave us the thumbs up, as security let us in. The club was packed. We managed to find a table, and in honor of Bella's birthday we ordered a round of shots.
"Em. I'm underage!" Bella protested.
"Chill, a little tequila never hurt anyone." Emmett grinned.
"Yeah that's what all alcoholics say." she sneered, and the waitress reappeared with 6 shots of tequila, 6 limes, and salt.
We all grabbed our shots. Of course we all knew what to do. We first started when Emmett went off to college first. We would visit every other weekend to go out.
"So what am I supposed to do?" Bella asked.
"Damn Bells, we need to start getting you out more." Rose laughed.
"First lick the top of your hand." Alice licked hers, and everyone followed except Bella..
"Dump the salt in a trail against where you licked." She said again, we all followed.
"Now lick the salt up and take your shot. Then squeeze the lime in your mouth. She went first and everyone followed. We all had gulped ours down with ease and smacked it back on the table. We all looked up to see Bella with a scared looked on her face.
"Come on Bella! You can do it." We all egged. Bella groaned and chugged it down. Since this was her first time I knew the alcohol must have burned her throat because she started coughing violently. I gave her small tap on the back, and she quickly stopped.
"Oh I forgot it was her first time." Alice grinned.
"You mean you've done this before?" Bella asked.
"Hey a girls' got to have fun, now lets go." Alice beamed, before pulling away Rosalie, and Bella.
We all laughed, and Emmett, and Jasper decided to go play pool, while I got us a round of beers. I quickly got up and went to the bar, and told the bartender. I waited till I heard the one voice I didn't want to hear.
BPOV
We made our way down to the dance floor were it was crowded with people. We started dancing, and I felt myself get lost in the music. I felt light in the moment. Maybe it was the tequila, maybe not. I was a lightweight, and maybe all one shot was what it took. I was dancing more into the music when I bumped into someone. I mumbled a quick apology and instantly regretted it when I looked up….
"Renee?" I gasped.
"Well, well if it isn't the estranged daughter." She sneered, as she stopped dancing with some guy. She gave him an apologetic glance. And he strolled off, I did the same to Alice, and Rose who looked like they wanted to rip Renee's head off. I didn't blame her, I wanted to do the same.
"Why are you here?" I nearly screamed.
"It's a fucking free country. Who do you think you are?" She sneered giving me a once over.
I couldn't help but do the same. I hated to admit to it but she looked good. Her once long brown locks, were now in cropped blonde do. She was wearing a very low revealing purple dress. She had Smokey makeup, and a light pink gloss over her full lips. She looked amazing for someone who was 38 year old. She almost looked, dare I say it "beautiful." No she wasn't. Rose, or Alice was someone who was beautiful. I could even say Edward, Emmett, or Jasper. People who were beautiful inside and out, and aged naturally, and gracefully, not someone who was full of so much silicon to make so many toys, that China would go out of business. What really shocked me was the humongous diamond ring on her left hand. I couldn't believe someone actually wanted to marry her. She was a gold digging bitch, who let life make her into a heartless human being. I can't thank her for nothing at all in my life, except the fact that she gave me life.
"I'm Bella Swan-Dwyer." I said proudly. I wasn't going to let her talk down to me anymore.
"Oh so I see you kept the old man's name aye." She smiled.
"Yeah, I like to keep both of my dads close to heart." I grimed.
"Yeah. I heard about Phil. What a waste. He was going to be so rich one day. But hey you win some you lose some. He kicked me out and look he's rotting 10 feet under" Renee smiled.
"Is that all you think about, you fucking bitch?" I screamed.
"Is that the right way to talk to your mother?" Renee sneered.
"Dogs have plenty of kids, but it doesn't make them a mother." I huffed.
"So now I'm a dog. Look at you Bella. You try to dress all up, and look cute and all. But it's pointless. You're ugly. Sometimes I wonder how I could make such an ugly child." Thank god for my step daughter. Someone who is actually beautiful." Renee laughed.
"Why are you so heartless?" I whispered, my eyes watering.
"I'm heartless? No one will ever want you. I'm surprised the Cullen's even hung around you. I should have aborted you. No, Charlie wanted you. Sorry excuse for a man. You are a waste of life, and I regret giving you life. You're just collecting dust, Isabella. No one loves you, and no one will ever will. You're just a broken piece of trash." She smiled.
"How could you say that. You know that's a lie." I huffed, I was so sad. I know I didn't like her, but I would always love her regardless of the fact she didn't love me. She was still my mother, but those words opened a wound, that I thought had closed 5 years ago.
"I say what I want, and it's always the truth." Renee smiled grabbing my face.
"Don't fucking touch me." I hollered.
"I'll do what ever I want. Now if you don't mind I have a husband to get to. Someone who has a real job." She laughed.
"I'm surprised someone would even want to marry you." I exasperated.
"Like I care about what you say. It's all about the money." Renee laughed,, touching her manicured fingers to her forehead to move an strand of hair away from her eyes.
"So whose the lucky fellow." I sneered.
"Like you care. But for your F.Y.I.." She started.
"Name's Renee Denali." She smiled before walking off.
Holy Fuck!
EPOV
"Hey Eddie." The nasally voice said.
"Tanya." I sighed.
"You know I miss you right?" She tried to purr.
"Yeah so does your other fuck buddy." I laughed. The bartender quickly passed me my beer, and I quickly chugged it down. I really needed it of I had to deal with her.
"You know I only did it to make you jealous, because of that Becca girl." She snapped.
"Name's Bella, and we aren't even together." I groaned, grabbing the beer tha was supposed to be for Emmett and chugging it down.
"So why can't we get back together." She asked.
"Tanya do you really have to ask." I ignored the puppy dog she was trying to give me. All it was doing was making it look like she had a weird twitch or something.
"What we had was special." She smiled.
"No it wasn't and you know it." I laughed in her face.
"You know you want me you just don't know it yet." Tanya breathed.
"Not going to happen. Why are you bothering me again." I questioned. I look up to see Bella with tears in her eyes, strolling over the table and she her chugging down Rose's and Alice's drinks. Tanya must have followed my glare, because she took in a deep breath.
"It's her again., Why won't she go away." She glared.
"No it's you, Why don't you go away and leave us alone." I said, getting up off the stool, I swayed a bit and told the bartender to brings some more drinks to the table. As I was about to walk off Tanya grabbed my arm.
"You and I will be together one day." She purred, and I thought I heard a tone of seriousness.
"Yeah in your dreams." I laughed. And with that I walked off heading to the table where my friends were.
BPOV
I could help the angry tears that were starting to fall from my eyes. I hurried to table were everyone was sitting. I didn't acknowledge the fact Edward wasn't here. I needed a drink. I grabbed Rose's, and Alice's drink, and chugged them down. The alcohol didn't bothered me as much this time, since I barely tasted it.
"Whoa! Slow down there." Jasper said alarmed.
"Fuck off." I sniffed wiping my hands across my face, Edward strolled over, and I could tell he was slightly tipsy. As soon as he sat down the waitress returned with 6 new mugs of beer. Before she could even set one down on the table. I snatched it from her hands, and chugged it down, the same with the second. I was about to grab for a third when Emmett's large burly hand stopped me.
"Hey I think that's enough for awhile. What's wrong Bells?" He said cautiously.
"Please just leave me the hell alone." I cried, grabbing the third beer on the table, and swallowing down.
I leaned back , and felt the rising buzz from the alcohol. I stared into open space, and let my thoughts overwhelm me. Rose, and Alice must have told them what happened, because I heard Emmett's booming voice.
"She's Here!" he boomed causing other people to look at us.
"Yep, and she must have said something to Bella." Alice acknowledge.
I snapped out of my state to see them all looking at me. Edward's jaw was tight, Jasper looked concerned, Emmett looked protective, Alice, and Rose looked murderous. They all knew what she did to me, and hw she caused my life to be a complete hell.
"What did she say to you Bells?" Edward asked. I just slightly shook my head, and stared back into open space.
"Come on Bella, you're seriously scaring us right now." Alice begged.
"We sat there in complete silence for a while, till I randomly spoke.
"Guess what?" I said, and they all looked shocked and alarmed at what I was about to say.
"What Bella?" Jasper asked.
"My mother got remarried." I said glaring into open space again.
"Okay? This is relevant because?" Rose asked confused.
"Her name's Renee Denali." They all gasped, and once again we were consumed by silence.
"I know right. Happy Birthday to me." I said sarcastically.
APOV
What the hell! Renee is Tanya's stepmother. My best friend looks so broken. She needs us more than ever right now. It seems the world is out to get Bella. She deserves none of it. She so careless, and such a free spirit that I am glad to call her my best friend. If I ever see Renee again she better not be wearing heels. I'm going to chase her ass so far, she'll be getting frequent running miles. Everyone knows you don't want to get Alice angry. She hurt my best friend. All I can say is get ready for the wrath of Alice.
EMPOV
My little squirt. How could a woman be so viscous to someone as sweet as Bella. She is one of the most selfless people I've ever known, and I'll be damned if I let that woman who doesn't even deserve to be a mother break her. But I may be too late. Bella already seems broken.
JPOV
Poor Bella. For some strange apparent reason, I feel for her. It seems as if her pain is my pain. I look to my love's face, and she her just as heartbroken as Bella is. Alice's pain is my pain. Bella is my little sister and I hate seeing her like this. Were the only family she has and she needs us the most right now.
RPOV
That freaking plastic Barbie bitch! The one person who used to comfort me, needed me to comfort her now. Bella looked broken. Like her spirit was gone. Her once lifeless eyes were dull, and she was shaking. I was so glad to have Esme to call my mother. She loved us all even though we weren't biologically hers. Hell she loved Bella like she was her own. She was so heartbroken when she first left. I swear if I see Tanya, or Renee again they better run. Cause they are going to have Rosalie Cullen's 81/2 Manolo's up their ass.
EPOV
My poor Angel. I often wondered if this was how she was when she first left. It killed me to see her like that. She was just sitting there staring into open space, not even blinking. I could see tears flowing form her lifeless brown eyes. The eyes I once said that if you peered in you could see the depths of Bella's soul. She was shaking so I gave her my jacket. She didn't acknowledge the fact that I did. I sighed, and ran my hands through my hair."I think we should leave." Alice breathed."Yeah we should." Jasper agreed. We all got up but Bella just sat there, staring into space.
"Bella?" I said waving my hand across her face, but got no response. She was seriously scaring me.
"Bells." Alice called crying herself.
"What do we do I think she's in shock." I said.
Jasper gave me a cautious glance and approached Bella.
"Bells honey if you can hear me blink once." Jasper said and she blinked .
We all breathed a sigh of relief. She still wasn't talking but at least we knew she was okay. I grabbed Bella in my arms, and headed for the door. She didn't even make a sound just staring into space. I settled Bella on my lap, and let Alice sit in the middle. I ran my hands through Bella's tousled waves to get a response, and got nothing. Emmett quickly put the key in the ignition, and sped home, taking a few glance in the mirror to take a look at Bella. It was an eerie quiet, the only sound of our breathing. I looked down to see Bella still glaring out the window. We arrived home and I slowly got Bella out of the car. Rose locked up, and I carried Bella to her bed. Alice, and Rose went in to help assist her change her clothes.
They both came down, with concerned faces.
"I'm really scared. She just laid there the whole time. I don't know what she said to her. We were going to approach Renee with her, but Bella stopped us. I regret it. How could I be so stupid?" Alice cried.
"It's not your fault." Jasper cooed.
"Yeah Al I blame the whore, and the fucking cow named Renee." Rose huffed. Emmett wrapped his large arms around her, as she cried. This was the first time I seen Rose cried since the incident.
"So what do we do now?" I asked.
"Well I have a theory." Jasper said.
"Well?" I asked."Well I think Bella might be suffering from PTSD." he said calmly.
"PSTD what?" Alice asked.
"Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. That's why she was unresponsive. She zoned out to block out anything traumatic for her. It's her way of protecting herself. Sort of like a shield.
"So what do we do about that?" I questioned.
" We wait….."
BPOV
I lay there staring at the walls of my room. I can't sleep, I'm starving but I can't will myself to get up. All could think of was Renee's words playing through my head.
"No one will ever want you."
"I should have aborted you."
"You are a waste of life, and I regret giving you life."
" You're just collecting dust, Isabella. No one loves you, and no one will ever will."
" You're just a broken piece of trash."
Broken. Was I really broken? I asked myself that question many times now. I've been laying here for the past 6 weeks her asking myself that question. Since I missing schools much I switched to online courses. I didn't feel like getting up. The others were worried about me, but I couldn't help it. I felt alone, worthless. Thanksgiving was quickly approaching, and I wondered. Thanksgiving? What do I have to be thankful for? No one loves me, and I'm worthless. I sighed as I closed my eyes. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep, it was just nice to close my eyes. Esme had called numerous time, worried for me. I hated making her worry so much, but I was just too tired lately. When I did sleep, it was nothing but nightmares. I would wake up screaming, and Edward would rush in to comfort me, as I cried, Once my sobs stopped, I would pretend to sleep, to ease his worry. I knew Edward was just as sad to see me like this. I grabbed my book Handle with Care, and remembered a quote that appeared in the first chapter.
"Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus.- Wallace Stegner, The Spectator Bird.
My heart was definitely broken. The walls that after years of keeping them down, were up again. Love. I wanted to be loved. I knew the Cullen's loved me, but as brother/sister/daughter. I wanted to experience the real thing. I wanted someone who would die for me, who couldn't live without my very existence. Who would become intoxicated by my very presence. I wanted someone who made me laugh, give me compliments, catch me whenever I fell, smile, and most importantly love me for all of my flaws. I had so much baggage and I knew what Renee meant when she said no one would ever want me. No one wants a girl with baggage. I often wondered why I found myself in this situations, I probably deserved whatever gave to me. Sighing I grabbed my journal that I started writing songs in to expressed my thoughts. I was just finishing the chorus of my song, when the door opened and in came a bouncing in. Me and Alice had spoken much over the weeks. Heck I hadn't really spoken to anyone I only came down for food. Mumbled a quick hello, and continued writing.
"Bella?" She said."Hmm.." I mumbled.
"You know Thanksgiving's coming up right?" She smiled timidly.
"Yep." I heard Alice sigh loudly. She hated my one word answers.
"Well Esme, and Carlisle decided to take us on a trip to Bahamas." She grinned.
"Have a nice trip." I said , finishing the last verse.
"When I say us, I mean you too." Alice breathed.
"I don't want to go." I said rereading my latest song.
"Bella you need to get out. We tired of you wasting away in here. Were all worried for you." She said.
"You shouldn't." I answered.
"I can't take it anymore!" Alice screeched grabbing my notebook and throwing it across the room. He slammed into the wall, making a large thud sound.
"What the hell Alice." I snapped, and was about to rant when she stopped me.
"You act like we don't know how you feel. We all do. You act as if you're the only person who didn't have parents. Hello were a perfect example." Alice screeched.
"Look Al, I'm sorr…" She stopped me with one of her fingers.
"Look I don't want an apology." She snapped.
"But…" I started again she stopped me.
"I have two wonderful parents who love me, and love you too, that they even decided to go on this trip. So if you wont do this for me, or even Edward, Em, Rose or Jasper. At least come for Esme and Carlisle's sake. We leave tomorrow morning at 8." She huffed and stormed out the room.
I sat there slack jawed . Did my best friend seriously go off on me. She was right though. I had to put on a smile. I know I was hurting them, but I couldn't hurt Carlisle and Esme. Sighing I grabbed my notebook and put it on the bag. I got up, and straightened my pajamas, and went to my closet to grab my 2 suitcases. I lugged it out, and sat on the floor. Taking a deep breath I whispered to myself.
"Hello Bahamas, here I come…"